Just A Quickie

These are just some random thoughts I felt the sadistic need to put out there:

Noel is still getting bigger. Is there any point where a fish stops growing? I'm looking at him and wondering how I'm going to get him home for Christmas. For the past year I've been taking him on the plane with me, but I don't know what to put him in anymore. I have a month and a bit to figure it out.

Are guys as turned on by shoes as women? Maureen and I went shoe shopping today and some of them were just so damn sexy. Does a guy notice a girl's shoes and think wow, that's hot? Most of the time I don't notice guy's shoes, cos let's face it, most of them are shite, but it's too bad, guys should have good shoes and good jeans. That's what fashion is all about. Good shoes and good jeans, male or female.

What happens if I don't get into graduate school? I always figured by this point in my life I'd have something to draw me in, some job prospect or someone or some place that really called to me in a way nothing else does. Right now I think I'd just head back east because that's what I love the best, but freedom is unnerving. Hopefully by graduation I'll either find something that wants me, like an employer or a school, or I'll find that I want something. I'd love to just follow a whim of my head or heart but I don't know if that's wise. For example, what if I end up in northern California and hate it?

I hate beating around the bush. I want to tell people exactly what I feel, what I want, what I need, and I think I do a pretty good job of it, but I'm getting frustrated with people who don't do the same. I can think of a handful of people who will ever be honest with me. Honesty shouldn't be a lonely word. I hope the rest of the word doesn't leave us honest people out there lonely.

I think I want a pair of really awesome brown cowboy boots. I know it sounds silly but I saw some this weekend that were beautiful and wouldn't look at all odd with a pair of jeans and cute top. Besides, I'm here now, I'm in Texas, I'm an honorary Texan born of two native Texans and I should have some if I want them.

The plane ticket I just bought yesterday to go home for Thanksgiving makes me really happy. I miss the cold and the hills and the city and my Mama Squirrel coming to my back door every day knocking for food. And when I'm at home I never get older, I never get doubtful or disappointed or jaded, I just get more mature and more content with myself and my life.

I'm human, I'm just a girl, I get fleetingly frustrated or sad or angry or whatever. But it's nice to know it's just that--fleeting.