In Between

So I was driving back from seeing Dan tonight and I passed this school bus cruising down the highway, some of the windows cracked in the chill air. It made me think back to bus rides I've taken--and there have been a lot. My first time on a school bus in 5th grade, not quite understanding how the whole thing worked, since I'd always walked to school. Getting caught eating Cheetos on the bus and getting written up and needing a parents signature. I was terrified my parents would be pissed off or my great-aunt, who was in charge of the buses for the district, would find out. My parents thought it was funny.

Sixth and seventh grade, gossiping with my best friend and always sitting together and mocking the other girls who we didn't think were as enlightened and cool as us. Ninth grade, getting up ridiculously early and standing in the dark for my bus, which came by around 6:20 every morning. School band trips, sometimes in school buses, hunkered down in ugly, itchy polyester uniforms with a friend, just wanting to get back home. Eleventh grade, riding the short bus because that was the only one that came through our neighborhood and I didn't have a license yet. I hated those rides. I had no compassion at the time. The bus was half special needs kids, half regular students, and always smelled like spit. In the wrong seat, you did indeed get spat upon. I'm not sure I ever rode the bus at my last high school.

A lot of bus rides were early in the morning or late at night, in that twilight time when the light isn't sure what it's doing. I still love that time of day. You get two opportunities every day to see that instance of transition, and although I hate being up early, I love being up early and outside. (I fall asleep again if I'm inside.) It's easier to see at night, out at the barn or driving around.

In Fort Worth (also in Boston, near downtown), those times reflect off the buildings and cast a sort of rosy glow off highly-polished windows.

Talking about all this makes me want to get up early in the morning. The reality of it is I won't, though, because if I get up early I'm not going to have a chance for a nap. I love my sleep. A lot. And there's always tomorrow night.