Thanksgiving

I'm sitting alone in my apartment, the TV on for background noise and Fenway rustling a paper bag on the floor. It's Thanksgiving, and Andrew and I are still going out for tacos tonight, and Dan is at work and then on his way to see his family, and I thought I'd take a few minutes out of my day of doing jack shit to remember what I'm thankful for.

I'm thankful for my family. My parents are halfway across the country, but I'm closer to them than perhaps ever before. My sister lives with me, and sometimes she's too close, but she's still one of my best friends, and she's still there for me, just as she has been our whole lives. I'm lumping Dan into this category too, because sooner or later we'll be a legal family full of animals and bicycles, and he pushes me to become a better person and yet is always there to make me feel safe when I fuck up and don't make it.

I'm thankful for my friends, who run the full spectrum--some frustrate me on a regular basis, some always seem to make my day better, some I only see once or twice a year and some I see almost every day. They're all interesting people who keep me intrigued in the wonderful weirdness of life and keep me from turning into a hermit. Topper and Fenway are being classified here too, because I only have control over them when it comes to food, so they're like my friends that way. I have control over almost everyone when I am offering food.

I'm thankful for being in the right place at the right time. I've heard that gratitude is realizing that a lot of what you have you didn't earn and being thankful for it; I realize that my having a job, my having shelter and clean water, my having ample food, my ability to spend money on things like shoes just because I like them, and even having a government that (usually) gives me rights, having an education and having a family that could provide for me, are all things I don't really deserve more than most people.

(I'm really, really thankful for having a job. Especially as a journalist. And especially a journalism job that I like. Whew!)

I'm thankful for my good health and the good health of most of those I know. This marks the fourth year in a row that there was a Summer Health Scare, as I'm now referring to them, and while the scares aren't fun, it's wonderful to come out the other end being healthy. It's also good to be in the position to get health care if I need it, and I hope I never have to test that theory to its limits.

I'm thankful for the intricate, beautiful world I live in. I marvel at the laws governing the visible and dark matter swirling around us, I am in awe of this planet that has held up with so much shit that we throw at it and continues to somehow survive. I realize that while humans may kill themselves all off someday and cripple the earth, the planet and the universe will probably continue to go on peacefully without us. That's remarkable.

I'm also thankful for today, a day I spent with Topper at the barn in the morning and with Fenway this afternoon on the couch. I'm thankful I didn't have to choke down food that I really don't like or really didn't taste good, just to be polite. I'm thankful for no awkward conversations across someone's holiday table. I'm thankful for spending most of today on my own, because I think people need to spend time alone sometimes and be content. And I am. And it's good.