Crap

It's been almost a month since I last updated. Can you believe that? That means I suck at blogging lately, that's what it means. My other blog has completely fallen by the wayside too, which is sad, but I'll hopefully get it back on track at some point. I need to start small, though, so I'm going to see if I can get back into this one with some reliability.

First of all, Topper is not completely crippled. I know I left that last post on a bad note, but I was just so worked up about the whole thing that I had to vent somewhere. (Besides venting to Dan, who was probably kind of confused about what to do, dealing with me crying and worrying about my horse.) Topper has splints, which are microfractures, in each of his back legs, which is what causes the bumps and swelling around the bone. The vet (let me just go ahead and make it public: I have a little crush on our equine vet, and part of it is probably that he thinks Topper is awesome) came out and got both Rio and Topper updated on shots and said I should give Topper about six weeks off, only walking.

Since then, Topper and I have gone out once or twice a week for a ride that involves just walking. Not terribly exciting, but sometimes it's nice to have no pressure for him to behave and to have a good workout. We walk around, spent a half hour relaxing, and it helps him from climbing up the walls the way he has on previous DL stints. Then I take him in and tack the pony and take him out for a long, good ride, which is gratifying--Rio is fun and a little bit challenging without being frustrating. The only reason he's challenging is because he hasn't been worked a lot for years, and I haven't riden him with any frequency in years, but we have fun and we're jumping and that makes me happy. I can see a physical difference in him: He's not overweight anymore, he's building muscle and stamina, he's remembering things like how to do his lines and pick up leads after jumps.

Again, I've been thinking about why I haven't been blogging lately and I'm not sure I have a good reason. Obviously, things are busy. Monday is my quiet day--I go to work, work out or go running, do grocery shopping and spend the evening watching TV. (Hello, new Gossip Girl episodes!) Tuesday and Thursday I do work, go running, go to the barn, ride both the horses and don't get home until about 9 p.m. Wednesday I drive to Dallas to spend the evening with Dan after work and then have to drive back to Fort Worth. Friday usually involves the barn or driving to Dallas, and weekends are filled with horses and friends.

That's not a complete excuse, though. Even at work, things have been incredibly busy. It's no secret I've blogged at work during the day--a lot of my job is waiting, waiting on PR people to call me back, waiting on interviews, waiting on all sorts of things, so I would fill it in with blogging (along with reading blogs, reading news, researching obscure topics, etc etc).

The other thing was I've been in a general funk for a while now. I don't know why, and it's not a huge funk or anything, it's just something has felt off and I think it's just a reaction to stress. There are some personal things that have been getting me worked up lately, and thankfully the anchors in my life have been steady (like Dan and my parents). If I had problems in those realms, I'd be screwed.

So. Hm. I'm sure no one's really that interested in all this ruminating bullshit, but I figured I'd go ahead and throw it out there before I attempt to do some normal posts again. I don't know if I'll get the chance to blog again before Friday or so, but we have an after-work event on Thursday and so maybe there will be some tipsy blogging after some free drinks. We all know I'm pretty much a light-weight.