Counting Days

I realize it's been a while since I updated. I fell into a sort of blog slump. It came from various things, including a new workout schedule, being busier at work, and just a general "eh" feeling when it comes to writing. Well, I take that back--I've been writing, but not here. All I can say is that I suddenly decided I could write short stories since I've been reading dozens and dozens of them lately. They're a new obsession. Two days ago I finally set down the anthologies and picked up a normal novel for the first time since some time in January. It's a fairly crazy idea of mine, but what the hell, it's writing, it amuses me, why not, right?

Anyway. Today is essentially my Friday, since tomorrow is one of my unpaid personal days to save the company money and hopefully save my job. Every week should be four days, I've decided. This is no huge epiphany--I've said this over and over, but I continue to stand by it. It's good to have convictions.

Also, I've been anticipating tomorrow all week--not just because it's a day off, but also because the equine vet is coming out to the barn to check on Topper's legs. This is a huge thing for me. I had a mini breakdown over the weekend about this. Topper's accident-prone: About five years ago he put a hole through the major tendon in one of his front legs, and he couldn't go out for a ride or be turned out or anything for a whole year. He was only allowed to walk. He finally healed, and scar tissue filled in the hole, and I rehabbed him with slow work over the course of months, and he was fine again. Then about three years ago he somehow tore a ligament in a back leg, up in his hips, and he went through a treatment where the vet irritated the area with these injections to cause scar tissue to grow and connect everything back together again. It worked, and I rehabbed him again, but he hasn't really been able to jump since then.

Two months ago he got this mysterious lump halfway down his lower leg on the right side. There was no heat, no pain, and he was never lame, so I just kept an eye on it but kept riding. About three weeks ago he developed a similar lump on the left side, and now he's off. He doesn't want to work when I ride him, so we only walk around, and he just looks lame. I've waited for it to heal, but he's still off, so now the vet comes in.

The reason I'm so freaked out is I'm afraid this is finally the injury that will retire him and he won't be allowed to do anything but walk ever again. Or he can't do anything and has to be on stall rest for a year. He's miserable on stall rest. We had to drug him the first time around because he got so wound up in his stall. He was bred to be a race horse, he loves to go out for rides and work and jump, and when he can't, I just feel sorry for him. There's an awful lot of feeling sorry for myself, too--what if I can't really ride my horse anymore? I love jumping, and I miss it so much, and to lose riding altogether? Real riding, not just walking? Terrible.

The good thing is I can ride the pony, since he's back up to riding condition, and he's good and fun to ride and loves to jump as much as Topper. For a while, if Topper has to be off a bit, I have someone to ride. I know I'm also jumping ahead to worse-case scenarios (that's what I do). Maybe Topper just needs some time off or something simple. I am so wound up and nervous about this that I become nauseated when I think about it too much.

Other days I'm anticipating--next Sunday, a little over a week from now, daylight savings will dictate we move clocks forward an hour and gain an hour of evening sunlight. I'm so excited! That means I won't have to worry about getting out of work as soon as possible to get to the barn while it's still light outside. Whew. I love evenings, and I'd much rather deal with dark mornings than dark nights.

In journalism news, the Pentagon lifted its ban on photographing coffins of military members. Photos are ok, but only with the family's permission. I'd like to say congrats to the military for doing this. It's about time. These military personnel fought and died, in part, for the freedom of the press, so I think it's only right there should be access. I think there should be full access, but you have to take what you're given. Positive reinforcement! But this will let others recognize and honor those who died through the media, and that's a huge thing.

I'm sure tomorrow I'll update with what the vet says. If I can get going with blogging consistently for a few days, both here and on the Dork Reporter, then hopefully I'll be out of this blogging-block.